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We Have Such Films To Show You
April 15, 2013 7:36 AM   Subscribe

We Have Such Films To Show You
So griphus was all "omg there's nine Hellraiser movies?" and I was like "I know, let's do a podcast about 'em!" and that's the story of We Have Such Films To Show You, our new podcast miniseries where we tackle every film in the increasingly-troubled Hellraiser franchise in loving, rambling detail. The first episode is now up; the podcast feed is here.

Still getting ducks in rows with iTunes podcast submission and such, but gosh this first one was fun to record and we probably could have talke for a couple more hours if we didn't make ourselves stop. Next episode will be all about Hellraiser II and will be posted in a couple weeks.
Role: Co-creator, co-bullshitter
posted by cortex (30 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
This project was posted to MetaFilter by Artw on April 17, 2013: An experience beyond limits... pain and pleasure, indivisible...

I feel it is important to note that the episode runs significantly longer than the film it is about.

Also I listened to the whole thing despite not having seen Hellraiser for about twelve years.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:43 AM on April 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Pain is pleasure! Well, you better hope so after the first couple of films...
posted by Artw at 8:11 AM on April 15, 2013


Seriously, we're going to be exploring the outer limits of budget film-making sensation.
posted by cortex at 8:51 AM on April 15, 2013


I am particularly looking forwards to the 2005 film, which is about... THE INTERNETS!
posted by Artw at 9:27 AM on April 15, 2013


I think it says a lot about the series and its audience that Doug Bradley gets top billing over Lance Henriksen in that one.
posted by griphus at 10:03 AM on April 15, 2013


The point about the cenobites being post-humans is a really good one. There's a section in Iain M. Banks' "Use of Weapons" (one of his Culture novels) where the protagonist finds himself at a party where the attendees (specifically NOT Culture, IIRC, but still Sufficiently-Advanced) have hired a gifted surgeon to aesthetically mutilate and maim them for the purposes of the evening's soirée. Free from the concerns of death, they treat such mutilations as fashionable (albeit quaint) affectations. "Remember when this would've been a gruesome and debilitating permanent disfigurement?" Though in Banks' version, it's given more of a "tourist"-y, almost banal treatment (by the participants; the protagonist, having seen actual gore on the battlefield, is repulsed).

I can see Pinhead & Co. treating Frank to this sort of thing, showing him the physical limits of his body, torturing him but keeping him alive (through sufficiently advanced technology) until their knowledge of human anatomy fails them or Frank just willfully gives up the ghost as an escape. Maybe he got free for a moment and self-terminated? I haven't seen the actual movie in a while. But yeah, when you're biologically immortal, it's easy to get bored. One could see humanity following these lines, rather than falling into a post-scarcity utopia or completely savage barbaric post-apocalyptic society, as we continue to straddle the line between our clever ape and savage beast tendencies. It almost seems more likely than either of the more traditional utopia/dystopia scenarios you see in most futurist fiction.

Case in point: I can't believe I listened to the whole thing. But I did, and it was delicious. Better living / longer agony through technology? (I kid, I kid.)

Also, I hope you'll comment (at least briefly) on the link between Hellraiser 2 and Queensrÿche's "Silent Lucidity." Or maybe it was just me who had his mind blown when he realized where those samples were from (I'm also willing to do a guest segment).
posted by Eideteker at 11:30 AM on April 15, 2013


Also, if Space Janitors can be a thing, Mattress Guys can be a thing.
posted by Eideteker at 11:32 AM on April 15, 2013


Eid, you should record a five minute segment on the Silent Hellcidity thing and send it to us as an intermission break for the next episode, clearly.
posted by cortex at 12:01 PM on April 15, 2013


Ah finally a real world test case for the old philosophical puzzler: "If a tree you don't really care about falls on the Internet but it was chopped down by two of your favorite Internet people, does it make a sound to which you should listen?"
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:03 PM on April 15, 2013


an intermission break

I always wondered why podcasts without sponsorship had intermissions.

The answer came to me as I sprinted to the bathroom immediately after we finished recording.
posted by griphus at 12:15 PM on April 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ironically, just today I finished my series of Hellraiser reviews on my blog. It lasted three installments 9_9 and I'll be curious to know whether there's any reason to watch IV-IX (or X or however-many).
posted by Z. Aurelius Fraught at 12:26 PM on April 15, 2013


Heh. "Any reason" is the kind of low bar that I enjoy hurdling, or we wouldn't be doing this in the first place.
posted by cortex at 12:30 PM on April 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd suggest you at least watch IV just because it creates bookends to 1-3. It's not great, but it does bring the series to a close.
posted by griphus at 12:38 PM on April 15, 2013


"Eid, you should record a five minute segment on the Silent Hellcidity thing and send it to us as an intermission break for the next episode, clearly."

I'll have to work on that, perhaps this weekend.
posted by Eideteker at 12:39 PM on April 15, 2013


I'd suggest you at least watch IV

You ARE damned souls trying to drag everybody else to Hell!
posted by Artw at 12:44 PM on April 15, 2013


I will watch pretty much anything and found most of the Hellraiser films pretty sub-cinemax.

The first one has a decent premise, it's even a little scary... then they released toys and action figures etc... and Hellraiser became to Horror what KISS is to Metal.

The later ones are brightly lit and look they were shot on video. I kept waiting for Pinhead and the rest to break into song.

BTW, something much more terrifying... The 7th! Fast and Furious movie is in pre-production.
posted by bobdow at 1:44 PM on April 15, 2013


Ooo, I'll have to give this a listen later. And watch all the Hellraiser films. I applaud your effort!

My sister and I watched all 12 Land Before Time films one weekend a couple months ago. I like the kind of challenge that can be surmounted by sitting and looking at a thing.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 4:46 PM on April 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


The answer came to me as I sprinted to the bathroom immediately after we finished recording.

Of all the things we discussed during podcast prep, I didn't think to warn you about this. I always go before I go.
posted by cortex at 7:16 PM on April 15, 2013


Guys, you can edit.
posted by Artw at 7:17 PM on April 15, 2013


To be fair, I did drink like a liter of chocolate soy milk during the recording.
posted by griphus at 7:33 PM on April 15, 2013


Editing is for weenies. DAMN THE TORPEDOES, FULL SPEED AHEAD.

My podcast routine is a nice cup of tea right in time to start and then a glass of water to keep me from becoming parched over the next hour or two. Though I am wondering if by about V or so we'll want to consider evening rather than morning or early afternoon, and get a couple stiff drinks in us first.
posted by cortex at 10:44 PM on April 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


What does evening have to do with stiff drinks
posted by shakespeherian at 7:23 AM on April 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


I know a Harvard grad that speaks like 17 languages and knows how to read several dead ones. He's a Hellraiser fanatic. He got me to watch a few of the later ones. I remember one that is most a noir cop and seemed like it was direct to DVD. I was surprised ashamed to find I enjoyed it. Like a lot.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:00 PM on April 16, 2013


That is Hellraiser: Inferno, the fifth one. It's actually the one I'm most looking forward to discussing just because there is so much inexplicably ridiculous shit in there.
posted by griphus at 6:40 PM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yay, the podcast is approved and is up on iTunes now. BLAM!
posted by cortex at 7:51 PM on April 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


Fantastic!

After you've knocked these out, I'd love to hear a mini-podcast about the faux-Cenobites in The Cabin in the Woods...
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:04 AM on April 17, 2013


I am super jealous that this is a project, because I JUST watched all the Hellraiser's again...So I can officially never watch them again.
posted by tkappleton at 10:53 AM on April 17, 2013


Episode 2!
posted by cortex at 2:32 PM on April 28, 2013


I'm listening now and this is awesome.

Episode 2... is Doctor Thredson in American Horror Story a reference to the evil doctor?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:55 PM on May 21, 2013


Ok on to Episode 3. Did you actually Tweet to John Darnielle? 'Cause a. he's ALWAYS on Twitter, b. he loves his fans and c. he's a massive, massive horror buff. so if you don't tweet to him I will.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 11:14 PM on May 21, 2013


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