The hats of your mortal enemies, turned inside-out and used as flowerpots
April 17, 2016 9:30 AM Subscribe
The hats of your mortal enemies, turned inside-out and used as flowerpots
A Tumblr with one list a day, almost completely unburdened by truth or common sense. Some examples: nine notable letters and marks; seven guests not to invite to your party; seven lesser-known pirate hoards; three light meals; the seven great societies of time travellers; Instructions for Those Who Wish To Take the Path Through the City and Emerge Unscathed on the Other Side; four lesser-known English Explorers of the Early Victorian Period; six proposals for a transient architecture.
A Tumblr with one list a day, almost completely unburdened by truth or common sense. Some examples: nine notable letters and marks; seven guests not to invite to your party; seven lesser-known pirate hoards; three light meals; the seven great societies of time travellers; Instructions for Those Who Wish To Take the Path Through the City and Emerge Unscathed on the Other Side; four lesser-known English Explorers of the Early Victorian Period; six proposals for a transient architecture.
Role: Writer
This project was posted to MetaFilter by feckless fecal fear mongering on April 17, 2016: The hats of your mortal enemies, turned inside-out and used as flowerpots
Let me declare three things...
(1) I have long loved the pun-power in the title "Listing to Port"
(2) In this era of "Listicles", I seriously appreciate lists that are 100% fictional and 100% absurd
(3) I can speak with authority on the subject of Lists because in 1981, I achieved my greatest accomplishment as a free-lance writer (of non-fiction) when I sold two ideas to the Best-Selling People's Almanac/Book of Lists people for "The Book of Lists 2". Both lists ("Royals in Waiting: 12 Current Crown Princes" and "The Musical Instruments of 10 Non-Musical Celebrities") included 2-3 sentence 'annotations' for each item - still, at the maximum payout of $150, I made between 30 and 40 cents per word (an impressive rate for 'trivia'). Regretfully, neither list made it into Book of Lists 2 OR 3... the editors I corresponded with (none of whom were relatives of Irving Wallace) made clear that they were buying many more lists than the book could contain (because they had the money), and specifically the Crown Princes list they later told me they were concerned would likely become outdated too quickly for a book intended to stay on the shelves for decades as the Princes ascended to the throne. Ironically, the Prince who inspired the list for me, Prince Charles, still hasn't, 35 years later.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:47 PM on April 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
(1) I have long loved the pun-power in the title "Listing to Port"
(2) In this era of "Listicles", I seriously appreciate lists that are 100% fictional and 100% absurd
(3) I can speak with authority on the subject of Lists because in 1981, I achieved my greatest accomplishment as a free-lance writer (of non-fiction) when I sold two ideas to the Best-Selling People's Almanac/Book of Lists people for "The Book of Lists 2". Both lists ("Royals in Waiting: 12 Current Crown Princes" and "The Musical Instruments of 10 Non-Musical Celebrities") included 2-3 sentence 'annotations' for each item - still, at the maximum payout of $150, I made between 30 and 40 cents per word (an impressive rate for 'trivia'). Regretfully, neither list made it into Book of Lists 2 OR 3... the editors I corresponded with (none of whom were relatives of Irving Wallace) made clear that they were buying many more lists than the book could contain (because they had the money), and specifically the Crown Princes list they later told me they were concerned would likely become outdated too quickly for a book intended to stay on the shelves for decades as the Princes ascended to the throne. Ironically, the Prince who inspired the list for me, Prince Charles, still hasn't, 35 years later.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:47 PM on April 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
Shades of Douglas Adams:
posted by mmoncur at 8:03 PM on April 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
3. There is a place in a distant galaxy, right in its star-dense heart, where one can look up and see a perfect letter Q written in stars across the sky. It is what is known as an asterism, or stars that are unrelated save that they happen to line up. And no being who has anything like a concept of the letter Q has ever lived in that galaxy. Nevertheless, it is there.
posted by mmoncur at 8:03 PM on April 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
THIS IS STILL THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER EXISTED.
posted by kristi at 9:17 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by kristi at 9:17 PM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
OK, I've been following L. to P. for a long time now, and I still love it.
posted by moonmilk at 12:34 PM on October 15, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by moonmilk at 12:34 PM on October 15, 2017 [2 favorites]
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Send my regards to Mr. Titor.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:18 AM on April 17, 2016