A tiny story I am proud of

January 5, 2022 7:29 AM

A tiny story I am proud of
This is a very tiny story (less than 500 words) that I wrote years ago for a writing workshop, and the vagaries of social media recently reminded me that it exists. I re-read it, and remembered how much I like it and thought I would share it with Metafilter.

Role: writer

posted by jacquilynne (10 comments total)

That's impressive ... and wry, I've not read anything like that before. I normally don't read short stories but this has a lot of substance.
posted by unearthed at 1:23 AM on January 6, 2022

Love it!
posted by bxvr at 12:47 PM on January 6, 2022

I looked at the story and I looked at the 14K pedigree and I saw the word polite. I pronounce it rather lovely. Take a gold star from petty cash.
posted by peacay at 12:45 AM on January 7, 2022

Oh! This is so good. How satisfying!

(Can I offer a teeny, tiny comment? It's such a economic gem otherwise that this minor detail caught my eye: the words 'for this' after 'precedent' seem superfluous?)
posted by freya_lamb at 7:34 AM on January 7, 2022

Ha - I loved this! Thanks for sharing! I wanted to read more.
posted by rogerroger at 9:03 AM on January 7, 2022

Very clever and well written

There's a misspelling though. "Alter boys"
posted by kindall at 4:06 PM on January 8, 2022

I liked it.
posted by Dag Maggot at 8:39 PM on January 9, 2022

Thank you to everyone who has commented or favourited here. I'm self-conscious about putting my writing out there in the world and it was really reassuring to get such nice, positive feedback.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:49 AM on January 10, 2022

This is charming and just the right length! Thanks for sharing.
posted by Jesse the K at 12:11 PM on January 11, 2022

its mesmerizing thanks for sharing!
posted by aprilhaley at 8:01 AM on January 14, 2022