I am reenacting clips of the Swedish Chef cooking things. [more inside]
I told this story at The Moth's 'Grand SLAM' in Brooklyn a while back about the time that I was just trying to take the subway home and eat an entire container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream when my groceries spilled all over the train and I got in a screaming match with a really nice lady. [more inside]
George is here to tell you that you are a good person, and has some tips to share about good self-esteem. He's also a little black cat. Remember: Be like cat. Be good to self. [more inside]
This bot creates knock knock jokes by hitting up autocomplete on Google. This is perhaps the dumbest bot of all time. And yet! I am compelled to share amazing jokes like these.
Since the beginning of time man has wondered, "What receptacle is superior, the box or the can?" This web series aims to answer that question. [more inside]
Conservative Book Title Generator. If the Ted Cruz-New York Times controversy has taught us anything, it's that (1) all books written by conservatives are bestsellers; and (2) all such books have pretty much indistinguishable titles.
My short, sorry stint in SEO was the strangest job I've ever had. I was asked to create hundreds of imaginary webmasters and write little "About Me" biographies of their lives for fake blogs that only Google's webcrawlers were meant to read. They gave me the site name, I wrote the bio, and a coworker added manipulated photos. I did this for many months. I began to get bored... and then I began to get weird.
Meet Toby the lion, Herman the penguin, Frank the zookeeper, Dr. Sara the vet, Misha the bear, Mr. and Mrs. Flamingo, and more... Fun for all ages. [more inside]
Having friends can be hard! Especially when your friend is constantly jetting off to exotic destinations or cleaning guns or scaling office buildings n black turtlenecks....
@wdywam gives self-congratulatory twitterers what they claim to deserve.
I made a thing that tweets weird mashed-up VICE headlines. Some of them are funny I think, if you're familiar with VICE.
In commemoration of the impending flyby of Pluto by the New Horizons mission, I have created a twitter account, inspired by other such "fact" oriented accounts as @CatTipps, @FactsAboutEggs. Will publish a fact or two about Pluto every day up through the NASA flyby, or as long as the inspiration lasts.
Follow an opportunistic, money-minded piranha -- and his unsuccessful assistant -- in the comic strip Scorched Earth. Described as "3 panel goodness!" by Crowd Share user MisterJ. [more inside]
Ten morbidly modern sources of the dreads in daily life.
Metafilter saved my life on so many days when I felt hopeless and alone. Here is my love letter back. It's about systems collapse, intimacy, and grief. I tried to keep it as funny as possible, but it did turn out a little dark. I hope you like it. If financial concerns prevent you from enjoying this work at this time, ping me. I think a crate of .pdf's fell off the Amazon truck.
My attempt to document a lifetime of embarrassments and missteps. Tumblr updated semi-regularly.
Console Obscura is a podcast dedicated to video games and the people who play them. Ephemera, nostalgia, absurdity, history, culture, arcana and trivia are all fair game. If you remember what a new power pad smelled like, or Ganon's laugh sounds like, OR If none of that rings a bell but you enjoy a group of funny children of the 80s talking trash, this podcast is for you. Game on!
I made a dumb internet quiz for my own amusement and hopefully yours. [more inside]
We've kicked off the latest season of our YouTube series on media and digital literacy with a spoof of "Tomorrow" from the movie Annie. (OK, so this particular episode isn't really about media literacy... aside from taking the piss out of yet another movie retread.) [more inside]
A short play I wrote for a holiday-themed new works festival. Some of the video quality is a bit shaky, but the whole play is there!
My latest t-shirt project: mundane everyday challenges (such as finding a job, dealing with ultra conservative relatives, or deleting unwanted dick pics on a dating site) envisioned as classic black box retro 8bit Nintendo games. Hope they give you a chuckle!
The Painful Threshold is a brand new podcast based on the UK-style panel show format, where all the questions asked to the panel are determined by the audience submitting questions to the show's Tumblr, Twitter or Facebook page. Episode one has just been posted (at the main link), and the panel features Kittysneezes contributor Jenny Byfield, Seattle comedian Nick Decktor and KEXP DJ Troy Nelson (also of the excellent band The Young Evils).
A humorous interactive fiction/visual novel game about dealing with customer service representatives. Available free for download on Windows, Linux & OSx (40mb .zip). [more inside]
aka "Variations on a Theme by Kenneth Koch": versions of "This is Just to Say" hybridized with other poems (such as "This Be The Verse" or "To Lucasta, on Going to the Wars") or just recast into different forms (such as the double dactyl or the villanelle). [more inside]
We all know that many new emoji were recently added to the Unicode standard. What we don't know is what emoji will be added in the years to come. Library of Emoji is a Twitter bot that speculates, several times each day, on what new emoji might appear in future Unicode revisions—emoji that today may seem unreasonable, but someday may be commonplace: COOKWARE SYMBOL. MOUTHPART. PRIAPIC SYMBOL FOR UNICYCLIST WATERLOO. [more inside]
Strange & wonderful vernacular photography collected from eBay and Craigslist listings. Witness as ordinary Objects take on other-worldly, pathetic or even menacing qualities. You will never look at Objects the same again. http://worldofobjects.tumblr.com
Did you study hard in science class? Neither did comics Aric and Levi. Regret Labs is their attempt to make up for lost time. In each episode they attempt to explain a scientific concept and then invite a guest expert to join them and tell them how very wrong they are. [more inside]
According to ICANN, .COM domains were intended for business, .ORG for nonprofit, and .NET for internet providers and "Web Portals." Internet Directory is a listing of every domain using these TLDs -- beginning with the 115 million .COMs -- as they stand in early 2014. On a fast browser, it takes 599 days to watch every domain scroll by. [more inside]
This is the story of a girl. And her two sons, Demon Child and Dark Warrior. She works for The Borganization... [more inside]
For startups who haven't executed on their minimum viable funny yet.
This is a fairly simple concept site to try to convey just how enormous exponential growth becomes. It counts to 2^63rd power at 100 increments per second, with notes about what might be happening when that next bit, in this case a square on an 8x8 grid, turns black. Hoping people can use it as a tool to inspire a little wonder in math.
Paul Simon claimed that there must be fifty ways to leave your lover, but in his famous song he named far fewer than that. Egress Methods, a twitter bot, fulfills the promise that Mr. Simon could not—and then some—tweeting a randomly generated formula for lover-leaving every few hours, from now into eternity. [more inside]
This is my blog covering the Conservative Dinosaur Readiness Movement. It is a satirical blog about a right wing survivalist group that is paranoid that dinosaurs are going to return somehow and conquer earth. While it is satire, I also try to incorporate good science when I can, I interview legit people in the paleontology field such as Kirk Johnson and Peter Larson. [more inside]
An ode to the folks in ad land, WTFIMB generates a random creative brief to stimulate and excite...something. [more inside]
A friend and I were sitting around lamenting the lack of decent shibe/doge generators out there on the internet. So we decided to make our own. http://dogeforall.biz/.
- Click to make new text blurb.
- Change font size/color.
- Use a custom background.
- Upload direct to imgur.
- Click to make new text blurb.
- Change font size/color.
- Use a custom background.
- Upload direct to imgur.
Most jugglers today post "look-what-I-can-do" videos. This month, I tried to buck the trend by creating a juggling video with short vignettes and concrete narrative arcs.
I took Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol and remixed it so that throughout the entire story, Scrooge has a boner. It’s juvenile and incredibly stupid, but I dare say parts of it turned out pretty damn funny. It’s available as a free eBook, and you can download it in MOBI (Kindle), ePub (everything else), or Word formats. Or you can just read the whole thing online. [more inside]
Joke facts about eggs, on Twitter
You've heard this one: "Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself." Pizza Clones is a Twitter bot that attempts to imitate this joke and elaborate on it, replacing the noun, adjective and condition with stuff it randomly finds on Twitter. Examples: "Every house is an open house unless you have NO pants on"; "Every weekend is a normal weekend if you regret at least one decision"; "Every time is an appropriate time if it wasn't for my aunt Barbara." [more inside]
Inspired by the awkward phrasing of Automatic Caution Door signs, I made an automatic caution sign generator.
One year, six months, eight days, 638 pages, 222,851 words, and 1,025,891 characters after I started writing it, my novel Gone Whalin’ is available on Amazon in paperback and on Kindle. Previously on MeFi Projects I've shared my two collections of bad Wikipedia writing, but this is the book I'm most proud of. It's about a college student who starts waking up on a whaling ship every other day, the adventures he has at sea, and the scheming that goes on between his roommate and the dean of his school to exploit his situation while he's back in time. You can read the first three chapters and watch the book trailer here! [more inside]
Applebee's twitter account is by turns defensive, insecure, and angry with occasional delusions of grandeur.
A Twitter account of things that are sadder than things people on Twitter think nothing is sadder than.
A comedy video about a Classic Rock radical vs. a Classic Rock moderate. We put a lot of work into it. It's five minutes long, which I realize is on the long side, so thanks for taking a look. [more inside]
Panther Scouts is the oldest and largest cat youth civic organization in the world, where kittens and young cats learn the skills they need to be the cat leaders of tomorrow. You can follow their adventures in a new digital comic, launched this week, and with new issues on an every-six-weekly basis. The first issue is available from our web site as a low-res free PDF, CBZ, or in-browser read, as well as a high-res/bonus-content version from Etsy or iTunes for 99¢.
Prompts for professional writers in un-creative fields. [more inside]
Horse of Thrones is a single-concept mashup Tumblr combining tweets from infamous spam Twitter account @Horse_ebooks (previously on the blue) with stills from Game of Thrones.
My misguided, confident cartoon character is back with some invaluable advice for the romantic traveler... in his trademark, confident style seemingly informed by the infinite wisdom of men's magazines. [more inside]
There are dragons in Silicon Valley. Real, flapping, scaly ones, with teeth and claws; the kind that'll burn your Lower Haight apartment to cinders before you can pivot your way out of there. What's more, it looks like they can be harnessed and sold as a service. Can you say "opportunity"? Herebe is a short novel about Silicon Valley, startups, the battle for ideas ... and dragons. It's my first, and I would love MetaFilter's collective opinion. You can buy it on Amazon.com.